Alex 1

Alex 6

Teen Alex (Intro)

Alex 5

Alex 2

Alex 4

Teen Alex 2

Party Member
Full Name Alex Churchland
Nickname Lucky
Class Garbage Man
Race Human
Sex Male
Relationships Joel Miller: Friend

Beth Churchland: Aunt Chie: Friend

Georgy: Ally

Lester: Ally

Clarence Kripke: Former Friend

Equip Types
Weapon Types Ring
Armor Types Rags, Wraps, Flourish, Nude
Skill Types Techniques, Stances
Target Rate 100%
Evasion 5%
Hit Rate 95%
Crit Chance 4%
"No... This was my first and only chance. I had life figured out, but now it's all gone."

Alex Churchland is the main character of LISA: The Pointless. He is a Garbage Man who used to practice martial arts, like Brad, specifically "Gung-Fu" (A play on Kung-Fu). After losing an important match, Alex was forced to become a Garbage Man and then later became actual garbage. In the first chapter of the game, he is looking for a better place to live.

Appearance & Personality Edit

Alex appears as an old, slightly balding man with gray hair, a gray mustache, and a beard. He has green eyes and wears makeshift clothes made out of parts of other garments.

Alex is a kind and generous person. He tends to dislike violence and avoid fights whenever possible (which unfortunately he barely can). He also cares for his partner Joel's well-being, which is made evident by the players own choices, such as giving him a Trauma Kit when he got injured and broke his bones, or sharing the Antique Ham between the two of them, and Lester.

Story Edit

Due unknown circumstances, Alex grew up with his aunt Beth, spending his youth living along with his other aunts in humble conditions.

The economical situation prevented him from properly practicing martial arts, as the family couldn't afford to pay for the classes. One day Alex receives a Master-level Velvet Gung-fu Martial Arts video tape from his aunt which he accepts enthusiastically as both of them believed in his potential to perform as a Martial Artist.

The following years of his life were mostly spent practicing the contents of the video tape. He had a tendency for boasting the skill acquired by bullying smaller children at his school, which caused an attraction to his classmate Chie whom he ended up having a long-term relationship in the future.

In his adult years he got the biggest opportunity of his life: A global tournament where the most known martial artists around the world would be hosted in Olathe. Naturally, Alex signed up as a competitor. That day he spent his prep time waiting for Chie outside the venue until a referee called him as his match was about to begin. Before attending his match, he met grandmaster Choi Tae who recognized him from the bracket list.

Alex's first opponent was a student from the Aikido Martial Arts school. Being so confident in his Gung-fu skills he began the match with a flashy stance and a big pompous smile on his face. When the match advanced, Alex showed amateur tendencies as his moves were easily evaded by his opponent and he also used to get closer and give free openings. His opponent took a full advantage, capitalizing a big advantage in the match; the fight pace was a repeated act of Alex attacking, his opponent dodging and then throwing him at the ground. This caused a feeling of incomprehensible frustration in Alex as he couldn't do anything to turn the tides around. Finally his opponent ended up taking the match and with this finalizing the first day of the tournament.

Alex's big defeat gave him a harsh reality check, he spent a long while inside the dressing room mourning alone. Before leaving he makes a phone call to Beth's house which was answered by Chie. At the venue's bus stop he runs into a peculiar business man who apparently watched the fight and makes remarks about it. Alex confesses to him that this was his only chance to do something big in his life; the man answers back saying how unwise it was to plan his entire future around one event. Alex tells him to shut up and then the bus arrives.

As implied, this event destroys his entire future as he began to work as a garbage man until the events of The White Flash where he also lost his remaining valuable things, Beth and Chie.

For unknown reasons he's thrown out by Rando's Army at Garbage Island alongside other piles of corpses. There, a classy Hat Man finds him while scavenging, surprised by how he remained alive he gives a hand to help, until The Hat man looks that near Alex there's a bullet ignoring him completely, Alex finally faints and the man takes him to his house. There they formally meet each other, it results that the Hat Man name is Joel and has been searching for a long time an specific bullet to his pistol, Alex interrupts him by saying that he needs to get out of the island, but Joel is disposed to help in the task and thus nicknames him "Lucky." as he sees him as a good luck charm. Beneath the Island bridge there's and explosion so Joel plans for leaving the island with the assistance of one of his friends who luckily has a boat, Georgy.

Battle Edit

Skills Edit

Alex uses a Combo Dial as his main way of attacking, much like Brad can. He can also use Skills. His combo type is called "Velvet-fu." You can use the WASD buttons to do either normal attacks or combo them to then use a skill, which uses SP but is strong and has different effects.

Skill Name Combo Lvl SP/HP Cost
Flying Axe Kick WWD 2 30 SP
Dive None 3 10 SP
Goat Headbutt ADS 4 35 SP
Disarming Chop None 5 20 SP
Goat Kick DDD 6 50 SP, 70 HP
Full Thrust WWA 7 40 SP
Iron Hoof None 7 30 SP
The Minor Iris WAS 8 70 SP
The Major Iris ASAS 12 115 SP

Flying Axe Kick has a 30% chance of bleeding your opponent and also hits Floating enemies.

Dive allows you to dodge every melee attack but also sets you Off-Balance, and you cannot attack while you are dodging. You can, however, use items while dodged.

Goat Headbutt has 55% chance of stunning and a 60% chance of weirding out your opponent.

Disarming Chop disarms an armed opponent, severely reducing their attack, and prevents them from using skills that require a weapon such as Slice.

Goat Kick has a 90% chance to make your opponent fall, and a 60% chance to make them feel weird.

Full Thrust has an 80% chance to put your opponent Off-Balance.

Iron Hoof is an offensive skill that deals 60% extra damage to Fallen foes.

The Minor Iris is an attack that strikes three times and pierces the opponent's Defense entirely. It also removes defensive effects such as Defend (100% chance), Ironbody (90% chance) and Solid (80% chance).

The Major Iris is an attack that strikes five times and pierces the opponent's Defense entirely. It also removes defensive effects such as Defend (100% chance), Ironbody (100% chance) and Solid (100% chance).

Alex also sports two stances to regain SP:

Skill Name Sp Heal Lvl Cost
Receding Stance Base 30 3 None
Twisted Stance 70 9 150 HP (50 HP if Twisted)

Receding stance, which gives you around 35 SP per use.

Twisted stance, which gives you 70 SP per use, but costs 150 HP to use. Once you use it, you become twisted, reducing SP cost of all abilities by around 20%, increasing your Target Rate by 300%, decreasing your ATK Speed by 20 and allowing you to use Twisted Stance for only 50HP.

Battle Quotes Edit

Win Quotes Edit

  • Smooth as velvet.
  • ...
  • I did my best.

Level Quotes Edit

  • It's all coming back to me...

Drop Quotes Edit

  • Take it and let's keep moving.
  • Maybe there is something we can use?

Starting Equipment Edit

Notes Edit

  • Alex cannot die, like his pal Joel. If an attack that would usually kill a party member in Lisa: The Painful hits him, he will only get knocked out and get a permanent status effect like Brain Damage.
  • The max Exp for Alex Churchland is 10,345 Exp and him being at level 12 needing 1,160 more Exp to level up.

Trivia Edit

  • Austin Jorgensen (creator of LISA) has said on Twitter that Brad would beat Alex in a fight here